1. REMEMBER TO BE RESPECTFUL
   Our generation has a tendency to disapprove that the husband and father is the head of the house hold. They are the head and need to be talked to like that are with respect. There is no sense in belittling, degrading or making them feel incapable of making decisions for your family. Actually on the contrary, someone who feels appreciated, will always step up.
2. YOU DONT HAVE TO “WIN” IT.
   When you’re arguing, disagreeing or flat out fighting, no one is winning. It doesn’t matter whose opinion you go with. If you are being disrespectful to each other and blowing the matter out of proportion, no one wins. You and your spouse are on the same team. The team wins and loses together. No one “wins” arguments.
3. TREAT HIM HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.
   Do you like when someone talks down to you or makes a situation worse? Nope! And your husband doesn’t either. Unfortunately, most women have a tendency to dramatize. Talk to him like you would want to be talked to. It’s as simple as that. Your spouse has feelings and needs to be treated like it.
4. DONT TALK WHILE YOURE ANGRY.
   The Bible tells us to “be angry and sin not”. You know how you do that? Cool off from your anger before trying to do anything. No one says anything nice when they are furious. Try breathing, distracting yourself to something else and giving it time before discussing if you’re feeling hot headed. You’ll thank yourself later than you did.
5. DONT SAY ANYTHING YOULL REGRET LATER.
   Please don’t think you have to say the most hurtful things to get you point across. There’s a book I’ll put in the comments I recommend that teaches us to “tame” our tongue. Saying rude, degrading and hurting things just shows weakness on our own parts.
6. ADDRESS THE ISSUE AT HAND, NOT ISSUES FROM THE PAST.
   Avoid saying you “always” or “never” to your spouse. These phrases are a little too much. Yeah maybe your spouse has only helped with dishes 2 times in the past 6 months, but that’s more than never:) Don’t bring up every wrong thing they’ve done or said to make your point stronger. It really doesn’t. When you have disagreements with your spouse, they should be resolved and put in the past to STAY in the past.
7. REMEMBER YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT YOUR ENEMY.
   You are 2 different people who have had different life expierences and will more than likely have different views and opinions. They are not your enemy over probably a small situation. Don’t make them your enemy over disagreements. You are to work through everything together. And it’s easier to work together viewing them as your loving spouse and NOT an enemy.
8. WATCH YOUR TONE.
   I can say the same sentence in 2 different tones and the way they are taken is also 2 different ways. Your words are so important but so is the tone in which you say them.
9. REMEMBER YOUR KIDS CAN BE WATCHING.
   I know everyone says “don’t argue in front of the kids!”. I think that’s a little unrealistic. There’s going to be times when your children hear your disagreements. They actually NEED to see their parents tones, words and see a healthy marriage disagreeing at times. If they don’t, how do they know how a marriage should be? Now that doesn’t mean if you’re screaming, to just let your kids grab some popcorn and listen. (You shouldn’t be screaming either, remember tone!😉)

Enforce these rules to yourself and share them with your husband so you can BOTH work on them.

Amber Spann

Yesterday was my sweet sister’s birthday!
Many call her my twin because we have so many similar character traits. I am so thankful for her, and most of all thankful that she is my Sister in Christ 💗. What a blessing to know that our bond can continue on into eternity!

As sisters through faith, we all need each other. We should be able to depend on our sisters for edification, loving conversations, building up, weeping when weeping and rejoicing when rejoicing (Romans 12:15). Since God gave me you- I should never have to walk through this life feeling alone.

Sisterly love can create a fire and Godly zeal within us if we will allow it to. But like any fire, we have to be close to each other for the magic to happen.

In 1 Kings 19, Elijah has fled from those seeking to take his life. He is greatly discouraged as he hides himself in a cave. Even after a great wind, earthquake, and fire.. he still remained inside. Finally he heard the small, still voice and GOT UP and went to the entrance of the cave to hear from the Lord.

Elijah was letting his fire go out. He had retreated and was now in despair.
God asked him “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (Vs 9 & 13).

To be able to feel the warmth of a campfire, you have to be close to it. You pull your folding chair closer to the heat source. Our ultimate heat source is the Lord, and we can never hide from Him…But we can move our chairs far from Him. And far from our true sisters & brothers in Christ that deeply want to help.

How easy would our fires go out if we removed ourselves from the flame? We were meant to assemble (Heb 10:25) and let’s not forget why- this is where the stirring one another up happens. The exhorting! A fire is stirred up to keep the flames 🔥 going, and this is what we figuratively do to each other when we come together. We encourage and edify and rekindle our fire.

How easy would your flame go out if it was doused with a big bucket of water (or a tragedy you didn’t see coming?).
Or even just little drops over time could cause our fires to start to wane.

In times like these, we should want to move closer to the source (read and study our Bibles and pray) and hunker next to the “older wood”… the ones that have been burning for a longer time and therefore have the most heat (and good advice on how we can make it through such a difficult season of life).

I’m very thankful for each of you, my “sisters through faith” and may we always be able to count on each other to keep our zeal burning bright for the Lord🔥🙏🏻🙌🏻.

Jennifer Nichols